Observer Vs. Reactor
People ask me: What is the biggest transformation you have experienced as a Life Coach? I believe it is becoming an Observer of my life vs. the Reactor. Can I tell you that I am perfect at this? Well, that would have to be a “no,” but I own it more and more.
Life happens every day. There are twists and turns we never expected. Instead of thinking that life happens to us; we need to believe that life happens for us. It is also really crucial to believe that the Universe has our back and we are supported.
When a situation happens and we go in to our default reaction mode; we not only have what happened but we create a second layer of emotion that affects us. We have added a layer to this state of affairs and it is this new layer that holds all the pain and emotion. Our interpretation of the experience is just that, an interpretation. It is our reality by what we make it mean and it is ours to change. The charge, the pain and the emotions all lie within our interpretation. Modify that and you change everything.
It isn’t what we go through that defines us; it is what we make of it that defines us. How we act, what we think and how we recover is what defines us.
With this in mind, the observer looks at every bump; every twist and turn as an opportunity for growth. What is the lesson here? What is the gift? How can I grow from this experience? Why is this person or situation in my life? What am I not seeing? What am I ignoring? What do I need to do differently so I don’t find myself here again? How am I going to handle this so it is different from last time? What am I avoiding or missing? Am I hiding from something? Can I ask: Ok Universe, if you have lead me here, what am I supposed to be learning?
If I am afraid, what does my fear want me to know? Have I triggered a quality that I don’t want to own? I need to own that quality.
Can I use this as an opportunity to uncover a quality that I need to uncover?
We all get bucked but a) how long you stay down and b) how big the effect is and c) how long it takes you to recover is in your power. Being the Observer instead of the Reactor is the key. The key is that life happens For us and not To us!
Can you just be in the “allowing”? Instead of reacting, can you just “allow” it to be? Let the feelings come up and the questions come up? Have compassion for what comes up; but not react? That is the goal.
For me I not only get to ask these questions but with each new bump or drama I tell myself that this will make me a better coach. As I add experiences that I need to work through I not only grow but I am in a better position to help others who are going through a similar situation. This brings me an added incentive to step out of the drama, and be the Observer as quickly as possible.
I am a work in progress and I always will be. I am on this earth to continue to grow and learn and extend my reach. Every day is a learning experience; just keep your eyes wide open.
A really powerful read on this concept of the Observer is “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer. I highly recommend it to everyone. I think it is a game changer.
Till next time,
With love and blessings,