How are your beliefs about yourself?
Self-esteem is how we view ourselves, our own value, and our sense of worthiness. It is a critical component to our decision making, risk taking, and motivation. Those with lower self-esteem tend to believe they are not as worthy of things as others, such as achieving their personal goals. While those with higher self-esteem embody more resiliency to overcome obstacles because they are sure they are worth the desirable outcome.A lack in self-confidence keeps us from living our lives to the fullest!
We become afraid to freely express ourselves, contribute our ideas, and even share our talents. When I first begin working with new clients, lack of confidence is always something mentioned on their part.
Here are some benefits of becoming more confident:
More happiness and enjoyment
Less self-doubt and limitations Gained strength in capabilities Freedom from fear and anxiety Reduction in stress
Natural motivation and
Great and more attainable success!
Interested in how to make this shift happen?
We all talk to ourselves, sometimes even out loud. There are two distinguishable modes of talking to ourselves: instructional, like working through a task, and motivational, such as “I can do this!” This motivational self-talk is closely related to our confidence levels and what we believe we are capable of.
The faculty of Physical Education and Sport Sciences at the University of Tehran in Iran conducted a study of how motivational self-talk improved basketball abilities. Over 150 students were involved, and the results concluded that positive self-talk and a “can-do” attitude improved their speed and accuracy immensely versus the control group.
Believing and telling yourself you are capable of a task, even a physical one, contributes to you excelling in it! Isn’t that remarkable?
What happens when you don’t talk so nicely to yourself?
Talking negatively to yourself can have different outcomes but all have a common theme- It is not productive. Negative self-talk can be fueled by a number of things.
Some non-productive outcomes include:
-Irrational beliefs about yourself
-A bad mood that isn’t addressed
-Being overly critical
-Fear and anxiety
Some examples of common examples of negative self-talk:
-I’m not worth it
-There’s no use
-I can’t do it
-People won’t like me
-I am not enough
-Others are better than me
-My opinions don’t matter
-Nothing ever goes right
-I’ll never fit it
I need to stay quiet
-My feelings don’t matter
-I must be perfect
Do NOT believe these things! They are WRONG.
Our minds are powerful machines! The thoughts we produce can translate into action and that is how we truly achieve greatness.
However, if we are filling our minds with negative comments about ourselves and our circumstances, we are creating boundaries for ourselves that we otherwise would not need to overcome. Think of your mind as a computer. You must program it efficiently forit to run smoothly and complete its task. Your mind is the sameway!
So instead of the negative self-talk examples Iisted before ,try these instead:
-I can handle this
-I’m making progress
-I am in control of this
-I am willing to try
-I will eventually get it
-I have many likable qualities
-I do not need to compare myself to others
-I am complete as I am
-It’s normal to feel this way
If we don’t reinforce our negative beliefs-they have no power over us.
Mantras and affirmations are two forms of self-talk that are used specifically to cultivate self-care. Much like the positive self-talk I mentioned before, their main purpose is to “rewire” your brain for a more confident and optimistic outlook.
Try saying some of these every morning, maybe even when looking at yourself in the mirror. (It is okay if it feels uncomfortable at first. That is the hallmark of the beginning of change!)
-I love who I have become
-I let go of negative thoughts and feelings about myself
-I am always growing and developing
-My opinions resonate with who I am
-I am whole and perfect the way I am
The most important part of the process. Some days you will feel more confident in others, but it is a HUGE feat to love yourself despite it all.
YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Even when you aren’t feeling like it, you deserved to be loved and you sure should remind yourself that regularly.
Loving yourself is the first step in others loving you. When you love yourself, you mirror that out to the world and that is what you attract back.
What can you do today to show yourself how much you love yourself? Post in the comments below-I would love to hear.
Need support in loving yourself? One-on-one coaching is the quickest way to doing that. Read for a complementary session?