Bucket lists are an interesting phenomenon. For me, they are more than just a list of somedays and maybes but they stand as a call to action. They call to me, pull me towards them, shouting at me at times that the only thing keeping them on my list are my own fears.
They seem harmless enough when I add them to my list but in reality they act as reminders that I am allowing myself to play small and not live to my full potential. They leave me feeling disempowered and disappointed. I put them on my list lovingly, but they mock me and tell me that in order to have the life I envision, I need to move past my fears and play all out.
So I have taken steps to move past my fears. I am consciously choosing to put my faith into my faith and move forward and play all out.
I have never taken a big international trip alone and yet I give my light away to women who do. I am always so impressed and always wonder why I don’t do that. I feel like it is a very important step in my self-actualization. So I have booked a magnificent trip to Thailand for 18 days. I am going to do a bike trip, and then a beautiful yoga, meditation and detox retreat. I am really excited and I feel energized and powerful.
My second item that I have taken off my bucket list has been so transformational that I wish I had done it years ago and I recommend it to EVERY woman out there.
I have started Pole Dancing Lessons in San Francisco. I always wanted to and couldn’t find anyone to go with and I just kept putting it off. Well, no longer. I started with one private which was awesome but knew I wanted the energy and kinship of other women. I am getting so much more than I could ever have imagined. The room is relatively dark and there are no mirrors. Most of the time we all have our eyes closed and the music surrounds us and with each breath the music becomes us. We follow the direction of our teacher who herself exudes so much sexuality and sensuality that one can’t help get sucked in to the vibe. With our eyes closed we are all becoming the sensual women we were born to be. It is so much more than a dance class. It is a class about letting go of all inhibitions and letting go of any feelings of being less than. It is about self-love and love for every woman in the room. I am in a room of woman who I can’t imagine any other way I would be in contact with them. I would have to guess I am decades (sad but true) older than 95% of them and our bodies and shapes differ considerably. And yet, and yet, when I watch them each dance-each one is so sexy and beautiful in their dance that I can’t even believe it. We are each transformed to sensual, sexual divas right in front of our eyes. I am in awe and in love with each woman in the room. We are one with ourselves for most of the class but at times we are also cheering each other on and the support in the room is palpable.
The first time I put on the tiny little shorts that hardly cover my butt, it took everything I had to walk in to the room. I didn’t want to even see myself, let alone walk in to the room with other woman. It was a huge step in self-love and self-acceptance and it is a transformational step that feels so empowering and in line with everything I try to do with my coaching. I am being the woman who can love herself as she is, with all her lumps and bumps. I can walk in to a room and transform into a sexual goddess. I am strutting across the room and sliding down the wall and gyrating till my hips kill me and I am learning to use the pole. I am sore and bruised and exhausted when I leave my two-hour class but I am transformed. I walk out thinking: “Wow, I need a cigarette!”
I drive home from the city feeling warm and inspired. I am proud of myself for listening to my inner goddess and not being afraid to step out and play big. I love myself and know myself to be powerful and strong and yet a sexual sensual Goddess who can do anything. I am crossing those items off my bucket list one or two at a time and so grateful for my life and my courage. The saying QOTL stands for Quality of Time Left. It’s akin to the saying: this is not a dress rehearsal. This is the life and time we have on this earth; this time around. How are you spending your precious time?
I get to my apartment and gingerly step out of the car. Between my long hilly bike rides, long hilly hikes and yoga and now two hours of pole dancing; every inch of my body hurts. As I closed the door to the car; I actually said to myself; “I need a vacation from myself!”
To you, I invite you to run, don’t walk to take something off of your bucket list. What are you waiting for? Let go of all your excuses because that is all they are, and just go! I promise, you won’t regret it.
With love, peace and grace,
Nancy
p.s. This week we need to bring six inch heels for our class…