2018 Vision from 2017 Lessons

2018 Vision from 2017 Lessons

Year-end brings a natural inclination to reflect on what we did well in 2017. How close did we come to the vision and goals we set 12 months earlier? What could we have done better? What gifts and lessons did the year bring us? What habits or behaviors do we want to leave at the doorstep of 2018? These are provocative questions we could each ask ourselves, and hopefully many of us do, throughout the year. But as life scurries about and we get caught up in the day-to-day, it is easy to slip into autopilot, to snuggle in the comfy confines of routine and habit. For me, I constantly check in with what triggers me, what causes emotional reaction, whether people or situations. Those are ideal moments to teach me what the wounded child deep inside has stirred up and upset me. As an internal exercise, it frees me from automatic reactions, enhances my desire to learn more about myself and heals wounds that need healing. We each have wounds and shadow beliefs in our subconscious, regardless of how great we see our childhoods.  I have yet to meet a client, myself included, who doesn’t harbor the wound of “not good enough” or “unworthy.” That self-perception commonly has roots in situations or people that made us feel unworthy. The flip-side, however, also rings true. If we are brought up believing we are special, the moment someone finds us not special, the wound of unworthy is triggered. I strive always to see how these wounds tend to surface. When my inner child is wounded, my gut reaction is to strike out...
My Call to Summit:  Kilimanjaro

My Call to Summit: Kilimanjaro

I am writing a book. I never thought about being an author although I always found writing a powerful avenue for self-expression. When I decided to climb Kilimanjaro, I felt a call to write about the experience, not only to share my training and the climb to the summit but also to record the many coachable opportunities I found along the way. These last few weeks following the climb, I have allowed my feelings to evolve and take shape, stepping back and bearing witness to what was and remains an extraordinary experience, a “letting in” as a way of opening and “letting go.” Before the climb, I spoke with my spiritual guide whom I first met in Thailand. I mentioned I was hoping the climb would produce a spiritual experience for me. His sage advice was to stay present and quiet, spend time alone and let my feelings surface without judgment. And off I went. Then the most surprising thing happened. The call to summit and the journey there and back was the spiritual awakening. The moment I saw the sign that announced arrival at the summit, I began to cry, as an uncontrollable and unexpected explosion of joy and gratitude surged through my body. As I walked towards the sign, I continue to cry, for several minutes, until I came to stillness under the sign where I then sat. Those last steps not only broke me open, they also, as I later recognized, opened me to wholeness. I have been on a journey of self-awareness and healing for more years than I care to count, taking both baby...
Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, unlike some holidays, can provide a chance to reflect and take deep personal stock. I am a mother of two grown sons and the grandmother of three baby girls. I have daughters-in-law who are thick in the midst of raising babies. I coach women in their thirties with children of varying ages and others who want nothing more than to be mothers as their biological clock ticks faster and louder. As I take stock about motherhood, I have much to think about. My mother is alive at 90 years young and I am so grateful to have her. I grew up wanting to be like my mother and I raised my sons trying to emulate her. It wasn’t until years later that I felt the call to be different as I experienced parenting ways that worked for her but didn’t always work for me. Nonetheless, the underlying truth is that she and I both, in our own parenting styles, had the best intentions. The women I coach shoulder many challenges. Women are, for starters, forever questioning themselves and their abilities. Our shadows expand to full bloom, however, when we navigate motherhood. We want the best for our children and to do the best job we can. Like I was in my early mothering days, many woman want to be like their mothers and as many strive for the opposite or at least many degrees removed. Throw into the mix the predominant childrearing philosophies of the day, and it all gets quite complicated. I remember every stage and worry about parenting. I remember the victories and the losses,...
Dear 2017,

Dear 2017,

Dear 2017, Here we are! I am so happy to be here with you.  I spent a good amount of time in reflection as 2016 came to an end. What did I achieve and what do I still want to achieve and how will I get there? What were my lows, and what did I learn?  What were my highs and what did I learn? What am I most grateful for from both the highs and the lows?  I know I worked hard at fulfilling personal dreams and aspirations.  Leaning, growing, working, trying.  Trying and doing and more trying and more doing. I feel like the end of 2015 was just here and I was doing the familiar reflection then and the year before and then in a  blink of an eye, I will be reflecting on 2017 as I step in to 2018.  It is a little scary how fast time moves and how many things I accomplished and yet how many things I haven’t achieved yet.  Obviously, I have more control over some of my intentions and desires and some are still a work in progress as my perceived desires are still in conflict with my underlying commitments and shadows.  For sure I know;  If I desire something but still have not achieved it, then there is still something I am more committed to than what I say I want. I know fear is telling me to protect my heart.  To that end, I never let someone in to the most scared interior regions of my heart and until I can completely let go; I will never...
After the Fall

After the Fall

  I am on the plane heading home from my trip to Thailand.  This trip was unbelievable on so many levels that I am still processing its innumerable elements.  One thing that stands out is how indescribable it is to travel alone.  I am blown away at how long it took me to do this.  All those years of searching for someone to travel with me and feeling more than once like a victim. Once again I see that playing the victim does nothing but limit one’s life. I speak often in my coaching about victimhood.  Just like all the other times that giving up victimhood leads to major AHA moments; this was no different.  I was excited the whole time to be making it work and getting around and I couldn’t believe how wonderful all the people were that I met.  First I was at a beautiful emotional and physical detox spa and I don’t think I met another person from the States the whole time I was there.  That was such a different experience for me.  I felt very international.  Connecting was easy.  I am gifted with the ability to open to others which facilitates their opening up to me.  The fact that most people were there working on something, made it even more intriguing.  A group of us just became a little discussion group, openly discussing what was coming up around our sessions with the most amazing coaches and energy workers I ever experienced.  Unlike most of the people I met, I didn’t come with an agenda.  I came because as a coach I am always...

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