Why Don’t We Listen To Our Bodies?

Why Don’t We Listen To Our Bodies?

That is not a rhetorical question. It is personal, as well as pinpoints a dilemma for my clients. I am recovering from adrenal fatigue. You can imagine how much stress a body must absorb to blow up its adrenal system. In 2017, I biked for two weeks in Thailand and trained extensively in Aspen, hiking and skiing, among many other things, as part of a painstaking six-month training in anticipation of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. My vigorous preparation proved a major asset as I ascended the Kilimanjaro peak at 19,341 feet without much difficulty. I followed that little adventure with a bike trip in Viet Nam, a few months later. And, that same year, my family endured extensive drama that had me flying back and forth bi-coastally to lend more than just my hand for close to a year. I had stress in abundance. I am an endorphin junkie. I play hard continuously, a mental preoccupation that often deafens me to signals my body sends. My drive, which serves me well in performance, can become detached from my body. Over the last year, my body issued many signs I chose to ignore. I plowed thru, as I tend to do. It is not surprising I didn’t appreciate the risk of developing adrenal fatigue. I thought I had learned my lesson when six years earlier I weakened my immune system with excessive exercising and was unable to fight off melanoma. But time has a way of making us forget, allowing old habits to return to center stage. I know the Universe is there to teach us, but that doesn’t mean we...
Is the ticking of your biological clock deafening?

Is the ticking of your biological clock deafening?

As a life coach, I see so many 30-something women who anguish over finding a partner and starting a family. Are you one of these women? Here are some tell-tale signs. • Do you brood when seeing friends with children? • Have you been the bride’s maid but not the bride so often it hurts? • Is it painful when you see on social media happy friends with loving partners and beautiful babies? • Do you long to hold other people’s babies? • Are cozy nights at home increasingly desirable? • Are baby clothes and other baby items becoming irresistibly cute? • Do your parents send subtle messages about being grandparents? • Did you choose your career because it fit nicely with being a mom? • Is your career becoming less important because the incessant drum beat of finding a husband      is getting louder and louder? • Do you wake up at 3:00 a.m. wondering if you will ever find Mr. Right? • Do pregnant women and women with children seem to be EVERYWHERE you look? • Do you wonder if something is wrong with you? • Is your desire to start a family so important it clouds your happiness? The biological clock is a scientific phenomenon.  The “warning” signals the body sends to the brain as this happens are real, and as much as you prefer not to obsess about babies and finding Mr. Right, it is partly out of your control. The body is speaking to you.  I am a woman and I know how you feel. It’s so painful some times, it hurts. There...
2018 Vision from 2017 Lessons

2018 Vision from 2017 Lessons

Year-end brings a natural inclination to reflect on what we did well in 2017. How close did we come to the vision and goals we set 12 months earlier? What could we have done better? What gifts and lessons did the year bring us? What habits or behaviors do we want to leave at the doorstep of 2018? These are provocative questions we could each ask ourselves, and hopefully many of us do, throughout the year. But as life scurries about and we get caught up in the day-to-day, it is easy to slip into autopilot, to snuggle in the comfy confines of routine and habit. For me, I constantly check in with what triggers me, what causes emotional reaction, whether people or situations. Those are ideal moments to teach me what the wounded child deep inside has stirred up and upset me. As an internal exercise, it frees me from automatic reactions, enhances my desire to learn more about myself and heals wounds that need healing. We each have wounds and shadow beliefs in our subconscious, regardless of how great we see our childhoods.  I have yet to meet a client, myself included, who doesn’t harbor the wound of “not good enough” or “unworthy.” That self-perception commonly has roots in situations or people that made us feel unworthy. The flip-side, however, also rings true. If we are brought up believing we are special, the moment someone finds us not special, the wound of unworthy is triggered. I strive always to see how these wounds tend to surface. When my inner child is wounded, my gut reaction is to strike out...
My Call to Summit:  Kilimanjaro

My Call to Summit: Kilimanjaro

I am writing a book. I never thought about being an author although I always found writing a powerful avenue for self-expression. When I decided to climb Kilimanjaro, I felt a call to write about the experience, not only to share my training and the climb to the summit but also to record the many coachable opportunities I found along the way. These last few weeks following the climb, I have allowed my feelings to evolve and take shape, stepping back and bearing witness to what was and remains an extraordinary experience, a “letting in” as a way of opening and “letting go.” Before the climb, I spoke with my spiritual guide whom I first met in Thailand. I mentioned I was hoping the climb would produce a spiritual experience for me. His sage advice was to stay present and quiet, spend time alone and let my feelings surface without judgment. And off I went. Then the most surprising thing happened. The call to summit and the journey there and back was the spiritual awakening. The moment I saw the sign that announced arrival at the summit, I began to cry, as an uncontrollable and unexpected explosion of joy and gratitude surged through my body. As I walked towards the sign, I continue to cry, for several minutes, until I came to stillness under the sign where I then sat. Those last steps not only broke me open, they also, as I later recognized, opened me to wholeness. I have been on a journey of self-awareness and healing for more years than I care to count, taking both baby...
Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, unlike some holidays, can provide a chance to reflect and take deep personal stock. I am a mother of two grown sons and the grandmother of three baby girls. I have daughters-in-law who are thick in the midst of raising babies. I coach women in their thirties with children of varying ages and others who want nothing more than to be mothers as their biological clock ticks faster and louder. As I take stock about motherhood, I have much to think about. My mother is alive at 90 years young and I am so grateful to have her. I grew up wanting to be like my mother and I raised my sons trying to emulate her. It wasn’t until years later that I felt the call to be different as I experienced parenting ways that worked for her but didn’t always work for me. Nonetheless, the underlying truth is that she and I both, in our own parenting styles, had the best intentions. The women I coach shoulder many challenges. Women are, for starters, forever questioning themselves and their abilities. Our shadows expand to full bloom, however, when we navigate motherhood. We want the best for our children and to do the best job we can. Like I was in my early mothering days, many woman want to be like their mothers and as many strive for the opposite or at least many degrees removed. Throw into the mix the predominant childrearing philosophies of the day, and it all gets quite complicated. I remember every stage and worry about parenting. I remember the victories and the losses,...

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